10 things I learned at the Lucky Mutt Strut last Sunday...

Last Sunday, I participated in the MaxFund's Lucky Mutt Strut. It's a two-mile (one mile if you're very small or very old, or very lazy, or MAYBE if you only have three legs) jaunt around Washington Park in Denver, and all the proceeds go to the benefit of the MaxFund Shelter.

My feline overlords have SEVERELY vetoed any dogs coming home. They do NOT, however, seem to care WHAT I do with my time OUTSIDE of the house (as long as it does not involve playing with Princess, the next-door cat who keeps stepping on their turf). So I headed out to get some photos, some exercise, and some business contacts, probably in that order. And I ended up learning some VERY important things from "going to the dogs."

So here they are:

#10--After you've gotten your exercise, a nap is very well-deserved, as demonstrated by Elliott here. And a REAL friend is someone who will carry you WHILE YOU NAP.

(NO, OF COURSE I DID NOT GET ELLIOTT'S MAXFUND SHERPA'S NAME...I TALKED TO HER FOR 15 MINUTES ALONG THE TRAIL AND HER NAME WENT CLEAN OUT OF MY MIND. BUT I SURE KNOW ELLIOTT'S NAME!

He's adoptable, by the way! Go to http://www.maxfund.org/pet-search/ and type in "Elliott" under the name field.

#9--You can actually make some VERY beautiful things from your deceased pet's remains.

THIS WAS A TOTAL SHOCK TO ME. You see, my first exposure to the whole dead-animal thing was pictures of Egyptian MUMMIFIED CATS. Ewwwwwww.

And I LOVE all the stuffed animals at the Natural History Museum, but the whole idea of keeping something around that would STILL be shedding hair, even after death, is just RIDICULOUS to me! And...weenie-dog-shaped urns full of Spot's ashes...ugh.

But Karen at Pet Memorial Glass and Jewelry had some beautiful necklaces and prism-type things, some of which had ashes incorporated into the designs and some had pet hair. Not exactly my thing, but not quite as disgusting as I had expected! You can check it out at:

http://www.petmemorialglassjewelry.com/

#8--Scottie dogs do NOT only come in black.

REALLY.

This is like hearing that wearing white after labor day is RECOMMENDED. After meeting Cooper, who was this odd pale Golden-Lab sort of color, I found out from his owners that Scotties can be black, wheaten, or brindle. (To my credit, I did NOT ask if he had fallen into a tub of bleach.)

#7--Even though you think you may be in good shape, you can still be easily humiliated in a two-mile course by an Australian Shepherd with three legs.

At least, that was my personal experience...

#6--If you don't happen to HAVE any dogs at home, the swag bag you receive when you cross the finish line will probably not be very relevant.

Luckily, my friend Laura happened to get a whole bunch of cat-specific things in her bag, so I could swap out the dog biscuits/chew toys/pig ears for some sort of organic cat snacks. These have turned my cats into yowling crack-addicts every time I inadvertently get NEAR the cat-snack drawer.

#5--My cats are NOT the only pets around with first and last names (case in point: Gabriella Gewurztraminer, a tiny toy something-dog whose name weighs more than she does).

I DO, however, believe they are the only pets around with KUNG FU names. Smokey is The Fuzzy Whirlwind of Pain and Windy is The White Paws of Death.

Match that, Gabriella!

#4--GoodTimes Burgers makes a DOG DESSERT.

REALLY. It's called the PawBender--and is a dog-safe version of frozen yogurt, but with dog biscuits on top.

I cannot let the cats know about this, or they will start lobbying for equal treatment.

#3--Don't leave your swag bag lying around on the ground where a chihuahua can pee on it.

The hard lessons of experience...let's just say that Darius has otherwise LOVELY social skills. He just WANTED those organic cat-crunchies, I guess. Maybe it's like spitting on the last piece of pie so nobody else will want it.

Darius is also adoptable. Go to http://www.maxfund.org/pet-search/ and type in Darius in the name field.

#2--Sometimes the water in the gutter JUST TASTES BETTER than the water that's specially put out in dog bowls.

Again, just something I seemed to observe.

#1--If you have to go, there's no time like the present.

And don't be shy about it. That's what plastic bags are for.