About cats...

This is Goat.

She's about six months old and WHAT A CHARMER...

I was at the Rocky Mountain Feline Rescue's shelter two weeks ago when I met her. And her sister. And her other sister, whom I THINK got adopted that same afternoon.

It was EXTREMELY foolish of me to physically venture into the shelter because I have a very low resistance to the Kitten Time Warp. This is a condition where you lose the ENTIRE afternoon's productivity when you are in proximity to kittens, and apparently for me, prior exposure does not guarantee immunity. (See my post from June, titled Lost Time Phenomenon Explained, for more details.)

Not only that, but I nearly broke the overlords' first rule:

NO OTHER CATS IN THE HOUSE.

Goat and her sister Bellow were so CUTE though. And they were working HARD to close the deal with me. It was a close thing, let me tell you!

But the overlords would have been OUTRAGED. I would have PAID...

And my husband would have been none too happy, either. Because TWO CATS ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH, especially when one lap is not big enough for both of them.

So I left Goat and Bellow there, along with all the OTHER cats, and I dropped off my package and left.

Oh yeah. That package was why I was there. I donated a gift certificate for a portrait for the Rocky Mountain Feline Rescue's "Wine and Whiskers" silent auction/wine tasting event, which will be held tomorrow night, September 23, from 5 pm til 10 pm at the Molly Brown Summer House in Denver. Tickets are $40/person, which includes wine and hors d'oeuvres, and ticket proceeds and silent auction proceeds will benefit RMFR.

I could have EASILY mailed that package. But maybe I just needed a kitten fix.

So today I decided, instead of trolling the cat shelters, that I would look up some wacky cat "facts" on the Internet for my kitten fix.

And I found this amazing statistic at www.catscans.com:

A single pair of cats and their kittens can produce as many as 420,000 kittens in just 7 years.

Wow...them's some impressive numbers.

Also according to this site, more than 35,000 kittens are born in the U.S. each year!

After reading this, I was all impressed with the site, despite its lack of citations.! After all, it was on the InterWebs, right? It had to be correct!

Then I read another "fact" from the site:

25% of cat owners BLOW DRY THEIR CAT'S HAIR...AFTER A BATH.

Okay, I was with them until I got to the whole BATH part.

My cats have NEVER HAD A BATH IN THEIR LIVES.

I cannot even fathom the work that would go into getting them BATHED, but it would NOT be a pretty sight. There would be yowling and blood and screaming and it would probably look sort of like the scene where the crazy Brazilian doctor cut out the American blond girl's internal organs in "Turistas, Go Home." And splashing. Lots and lots of splashing.

And then, after all that, BLOW-DRYING?

I don't THINK SO.

By the time Smokey got to the stage where I should be blow-drying her, I would probably be in the emergency room, looking forward to taking another 10 days of antibiotics for cat-bite.

But I do know this.

There are far more cats and kittens out there than there are homes for them. Cats like Goat and Bellow and the others at the RMFR are the lucky ones. They're in a no-kill shelter, so the clock isn't ticking for them. But most cats aren't that lucky.

I'm a total advocate for no-kill shelters, but without a comprehensive spay/neuter program, there are STILL too many cats to go around. So, even though I don't REALLY trust the numbers on this site, I still agree that you should spay or neuter your cat!

But BATHING them? No WAY!

10 things I learned at the Lucky Mutt Strut last Sunday...

Last Sunday, I participated in the MaxFund's Lucky Mutt Strut. It's a two-mile (one mile if you're very small or very old, or very lazy, or MAYBE if you only have three legs) jaunt around Washington Park in Denver, and all the proceeds go to the benefit of the MaxFund Shelter.

My feline overlords have SEVERELY vetoed any dogs coming home. They do NOT, however, seem to care WHAT I do with my time OUTSIDE of the house (as long as it does not involve playing with Princess, the next-door cat who keeps stepping on their turf). So I headed out to get some photos, some exercise, and some business contacts, probably in that order. And I ended up learning some VERY important things from "going to the dogs."

So here they are:

#10--After you've gotten your exercise, a nap is very well-deserved, as demonstrated by Elliott here. And a REAL friend is someone who will carry you WHILE YOU NAP.

(NO, OF COURSE I DID NOT GET ELLIOTT'S MAXFUND SHERPA'S NAME...I TALKED TO HER FOR 15 MINUTES ALONG THE TRAIL AND HER NAME WENT CLEAN OUT OF MY MIND. BUT I SURE KNOW ELLIOTT'S NAME!

He's adoptable, by the way! Go to http://www.maxfund.org/pet-search/ and type in "Elliott" under the name field.

#9--You can actually make some VERY beautiful things from your deceased pet's remains.

THIS WAS A TOTAL SHOCK TO ME. You see, my first exposure to the whole dead-animal thing was pictures of Egyptian MUMMIFIED CATS. Ewwwwwww.

And I LOVE all the stuffed animals at the Natural History Museum, but the whole idea of keeping something around that would STILL be shedding hair, even after death, is just RIDICULOUS to me! And...weenie-dog-shaped urns full of Spot's ashes...ugh.

But Karen at Pet Memorial Glass and Jewelry had some beautiful necklaces and prism-type things, some of which had ashes incorporated into the designs and some had pet hair. Not exactly my thing, but not quite as disgusting as I had expected! You can check it out at:

http://www.petmemorialglassjewelry.com/

#8--Scottie dogs do NOT only come in black.

REALLY.

This is like hearing that wearing white after labor day is RECOMMENDED. After meeting Cooper, who was this odd pale Golden-Lab sort of color, I found out from his owners that Scotties can be black, wheaten, or brindle. (To my credit, I did NOT ask if he had fallen into a tub of bleach.)

#7--Even though you think you may be in good shape, you can still be easily humiliated in a two-mile course by an Australian Shepherd with three legs.

At least, that was my personal experience...

#6--If you don't happen to HAVE any dogs at home, the swag bag you receive when you cross the finish line will probably not be very relevant.

Luckily, my friend Laura happened to get a whole bunch of cat-specific things in her bag, so I could swap out the dog biscuits/chew toys/pig ears for some sort of organic cat snacks. These have turned my cats into yowling crack-addicts every time I inadvertently get NEAR the cat-snack drawer.

#5--My cats are NOT the only pets around with first and last names (case in point: Gabriella Gewurztraminer, a tiny toy something-dog whose name weighs more than she does).

I DO, however, believe they are the only pets around with KUNG FU names. Smokey is The Fuzzy Whirlwind of Pain and Windy is The White Paws of Death.

Match that, Gabriella!

#4--GoodTimes Burgers makes a DOG DESSERT.

REALLY. It's called the PawBender--and is a dog-safe version of frozen yogurt, but with dog biscuits on top.

I cannot let the cats know about this, or they will start lobbying for equal treatment.

#3--Don't leave your swag bag lying around on the ground where a chihuahua can pee on it.

The hard lessons of experience...let's just say that Darius has otherwise LOVELY social skills. He just WANTED those organic cat-crunchies, I guess. Maybe it's like spitting on the last piece of pie so nobody else will want it.

Darius is also adoptable. Go to http://www.maxfund.org/pet-search/ and type in Darius in the name field.

#2--Sometimes the water in the gutter JUST TASTES BETTER than the water that's specially put out in dog bowls.

Again, just something I seemed to observe.

#1--If you have to go, there's no time like the present.

And don't be shy about it. That's what plastic bags are for.

Lost time phenomena explained...

After I hit the farmer's market this weekend, I also went to the MaxFund's grand opening of their new cat shelter, on 10th Avenue!

I went in, intending to get some photos, leave my business card, and head home with plenty of hours in the day left to paint.

But my friend Laura said "Oh, the kittens haven't moved over to the new facility yet! You should go check out the kittens at the regular shelter!"

Thanks, Laura. It is ALL YOUR FAULT THAT I FELL INTO THE KITTEN TIME WARP.

I walked in to the kitten room, after a short detour with the FIV cats (MR. WONDER...if you are in the market for a LOVELY cat and you don't have any other cats. JUST SAYING...).

There was PLENTY OF TIME. Maybe it was 2:30.

And then...I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TIME.

I sort of remember Chocolate, a tiny black kitten, crawling into my lap and falling asleep. And I have a vague impression of Bo, Flopsy, Mopsy, Hope, Melissa, Nala, EJ, Oreo, and I'm sure a few whose names I missed, madly chasing Kitten Mittens and feathers on the ends of sticks.

And then it was immediately 4:00 AND THE SHELTER WAS CLOSING.

So I got no painting done because I was ABDUCTED BY KITTENS.

The photo is of Flopsy, one of the culprits.

If you are in the market for a pet, you should definitely get one from a shelter.

But BE WARNED. You should also schedule PLENTY OF TIME.